When you least expect it...
Grief is weird.
I was a basket case the week leading up to Julie's passing. However, when she passed, I was able to talk to people when I expected to be too emotional to do anything but bawl. Chalked it up to shock...
Made it through the visitation and funeral, which I did not think possible. (Of course, I had sense enough to pass on the eulogy...leaving that to John and Rachel. Hey, I know my limitations.)
Following my "cemetery experience", I have been "at peace"...lonely at times, missing Julie's presence, but not TOO down in the dumps. Took a couple or three of her leftover antidepressant pills the second week, but stopped that...didn't feel the need.
Took Friday off...was afraid that our wedding anniversary might be a little much. That turned out to be uneventful. In fact, I started having another "guilt trip" yesterday...thinking that it was way too soon to be "getting on with life" (despite what I told Rachel.)
Well, Rachel just washed that "guilt trip" away...BIG TIME! As I type, I'm bawling my eyes out...DAMN, it hurts!
What did Rachel do? Nothing...at least, not today.
Rachel "got me" with a 25-year-old essay that she wrote while a student at Northwestern University.
Rachel managed to do that because I decided that I needed "inspiration" for another "Julie Story". I knew there was a drawer downstairs with old cards and mementos of fun times together, so I brought it upstairs and started digging. Got to an envelope, took out some folded paper, and when I opened it, all tears broke loose...and they are still flowing.
So...I'll let Rachel do the "Julie Story" today.
Those of you who were close to Julie will, I'm sure, share a tear with me...