Do You Love Me?


The games people play...

On a previous post, I told you that Julie and I had a favorite movie..."Fiddler on the Roof"...that we sat through it two times in a row (and NOT because we were too busy "necking" to watch it the first time! Well, now that I think about it...)

If you've never watched the movie, you should! Maybe it's a "chick flick", but we should all get in touch with our feminine side once in a while.

For those who have not seen it, the story centers on Tevye, the father of five daughters, and his attempts to maintain his family and religious traditions while outside influences encroach upon their lives. He must cope with both the strong-willed actions of his three older daughters - each daughter's choice of husband moves progressively further away from established customs - and with the edict of the Tsar that evicts the Jews from their village.

Yes...Julie and I were probably "attracted" to the movie because WE were also in the process of dating...and "breaking customs"...all in the name of "love".

In the dialog and lyrics that follow, Tevye is trying to convince Golde, his wife, that they should allow their second oldest daughter (Hodel) to follow her heart and marry Perchik, a student with modern religious and political ideas (he is clearly a Marxist).


Fiddler on the Roof
Lyrics
Do You Love Me?

(Tevye)
Golde, I have decided to give Perchik permission to become engaged to our daughter, Hodel.

(Golde)
What? He's poor! He has nothing, absolutely nothing!

(Tevye)
He's a good man, Golde.
I like him.
And what's more important, Hodel likes him. Hodel loves him.
So what can we do?
It's a new world... A new world. Love. Golde...
Do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I what?

(Tevye)
Do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I love you?
With our daughter getting married
And this trouble in the town
You're upset, you're worn out
Go inside, go lie down!
Maybe it's indigestion

(Tevye)
Golde, I'm asking you a question...
Do you love me?

(Golde)
You're a fool

(Tevye)
I know...
But do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I love you?
For twenty-five years I've washed your clothes
Cooked your meals, cleaned your house
Given you children, milked the cow
After twenty-five years, why talk about love right now?

(Tevye)
Golde, the first time I met you
Was on our wedding day
I was scared

(Golde)
I was shy

(Tevye)
I was nervous

(Golde)
So was I

(Tevye)
But my father and my mother
Said we'd learn to love each other
And now I'm asking, Golde...
Do you love me?

(Golde)
I'm your wife

(Tevye)
I know...
But do you love me?

(Golde)
Do I love him?
For twenty-five years I've lived with him
Fought with him, starved with him
Twenty-five years my bed is his
If that's not love, what is?

(Tevye)
Then you love me?

(Golde)
I suppose I do

(Tevye)
And I suppose I love you too

(Both)
It doesn't change a thing
But even so
After twenty-five years
It's nice to know.


Okay...where am I going with this?

In the last stanza...after Tevye and Golde agree that they "suppose" they love each other after twenty-five years...they BOTH respond that "It doesn't change a thing", but "It's nice to know."

Well...some time later...months, years...I don't really remember..."Ronnie" decided the warble the lyrics one day...and flubbed them. Following the key question..."Do you love me?", I followed with "It doesn't MEAN a thing..." Well, Julie was on THAT like white on rice..."It's "CHANGE" a thing...It doesn't CHANGE a thing!"

I don't know if the word "whatever" had been invented yet, but I mumbled something to that effect...and Julie's reaction cinched that a "game" was born!

At least once a month, I would remember the song...and the botched line.

ENCORE PLEASE!


Okay...guess you had to be there!


Anyway...the above was actually "Side B" of this post. Gotta save the best for last!

When Julie and Ronnie started dating, we were VERY discreet.

From day one, Julie called Ronnie "Mr. Newell" at school. Ronnie called Julie "Miss Jones" at school. (Actually, we continued to do that up through 1995 when Julie was banished from the high school. Well, "Miss Jones" became "Mrs. Newell" after November 30, 1973...but, whatever!)

By the way...may I digress? You knew that I would...

Evidently we did a pretty good job of being "discreet". Over the years, several teachers and students expressed shock when they discovered (years after the fact) that Julie and I were married. One thing that "helped" in this unintentional ruse was the fact that there was a family of African American Newells who lived in Cairo. Julie would often be asked "Which of those Newells are you related to?"...and she just smiled...knowing they would be shocked to know it was the WHITE Newells.

Okay, back to the main event...

As I indicated, Julie and I were very "professional" in our relationship with one another at school. Part of the reason was that THAT was just the way we were...we did not believe in open affection at the work place. Another reason was that a white person dating a black person was simply NOT a popular thing in the early 1970s! I think I've said this before...(my "editor" will take care of cutting out the repetitive passages prior to the publication of "The Book")...there was a movement afoot to break us up...to move me to the Junior High and leave Julie at the High School. For whatever reason (probably Julie's outrage), that plan was dropped. However, Julie and I decided NOT to push the envelope and remained "Miss Jones and Mr. Newell" before marriage, and the totally unrelated "Mrs. Newell" and "Mr. Newell" afterward.

BUT...there was this one day...probably the most embarrassing day of my life!

The old Cairo High School building had this wonderful auditorium, complete with a balcony. Each year, the band and the chorus would present a performance to the student body and faculty.

The day of which I speak was during the "dating days", when Julie and I kept our relationship undercover. STRIKE THAT! When Julie and I kept our relationship professional and discreet!!!

Anyway, as you would expect, teachers were required to "monitor" student behavior...even "back in the day". Therefore, I stationed myself downstairs, left, about two-thirds of the way up from the stage.

I don't remember exactly how many songs the band played, or the chorus sang, before or after "the incident". However, I have one VERY vivid memory of that day. The band struck up the first notes of a song that sounded vaguely familiar and, then, just in case I didn't recognize it, the chorus belted out the attention-getting line..."Julie, Julie, Julie, do you love me?"

Part of my vivid memory may be because I have always been an extremely shy person...and in those days excruciatingly so...but damned if it didn't seem like the entire audience turned in unison and looked directly at me!!!

BUSTED!

To this day, I don't know if the playing of that particular song was a coincidence or if it was a joke played by the band director on a naive, green, young and dumb teacher. At that stage of my career, I was too shy to ask!

All I DO know is that the answer to the question raised...in BOTH songs...was a resounding YES!

And, it changed everything...




Happy Birthday, Julie!